His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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