Can i not drive my cunt home
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
