Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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