No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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