Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
