nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
