I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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