respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
