i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
