That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
they need to just BURY HIM!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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