My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
