Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
