doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Is it because I queefed?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
