I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
