Well apparently he's into motor boating.
oh god the rape fog is back!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
