what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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