I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I think my moral compass just broke
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize