No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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