I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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