So drunk, too bad you don't want this
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Randomize
