Im at strip club and am horny
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Vodka?
Forever.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
