I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
