Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
