I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
