I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
