"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
