Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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