i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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