I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
