mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
