We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
