We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
