I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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