Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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