Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
