I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
