remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
