Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize