You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
