Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
