Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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