what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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