His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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