I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
two words...techno handjob
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize