youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
