Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
