? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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