rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
