I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
