They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
