Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just want to make out with him forever
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
