I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think my moral compass just broke
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