Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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