Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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