Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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