yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
