I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
