The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
