'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize