whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
