I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
