You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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