I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
