I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Randomize